I found my new house the other day and I didn't even know I was in the market for a new house.
But this is exactly the sort of thing that you think you're not in the market for, until one day you've put it off too long and then...Zombies. Then what?
Then you're screwed, that's what.
Fortunately I'll be saved from this terrible zombie fate thanks to the designer geniuses of KWK Promes who have the sort of foresight and ingenuity that all house designers should exhibit in this day and age. 2012 is fast approaching and if you thought the end was coming with fire, water, ice, earthquake, hurricane or plague, you're wrong. Zombies. It's going to be zombies.
The USA's Center for Disease Control (CDC) knows it. Everyone thinks they posted their Zombie Apocalypse blog post because they thought the old chaps in the government were finally showing a bit of humor in the bureaucracy.
Wrong-o, Mary Lou. The government doesn't want to hear from your whiny, sniveling self when the end comes and you come crying that you weren't prepared, that they didn't warn you, that's why they posted it. Take heed, the zombies are coming.
So, I think it's prudent that we all start investing in these houses of glass and concrete. With a sleek, modern, large glass-window look by zombie-free day, these structures fold in upon themselves and completely seal off all windows and walls with a thick layer of presumably zombie-impenetrable protection when necessary.
Movable walls, sliding concrete slab window coverings, and perhaps best of all, a single entrance to the sealed structure accessible only by drawbridge. You will be a zombie-safe concrete turtle when the end of days comes, and it'll be just you and me and the cucarachas left to rebuild the world when it's all over.
Browse some pictures of the First Zombie-Proof House and buy yours today. We can be neighbors.