The World’s Day of Beckoning
Friday, April 8, 2011 at 9:58PM
Daniel James in Fox News, Glenn Beck, Tea Party

In tragic news for comedians and news satirist across the globe Fox News pundit Glenn Beck has announced to his audience of now grieving patriots that he will be leaving his daily Fox News program.

Beck’s announcement came after weeks of denying reports of a ‘cooling’ in the relationship between him and the ‘fair and balanced’ news network.

 A serious, almost, somber Beck consoled his audience and stand ups everywhere by announcing that he would not be leaving Fox all together. With that assurance not only is America’s future safe but the global comic community will rest easier knowing that a rich vein of satirical fodder remains tapped.

The blogging community has surprisingly reacted with a combination of love, hate and indifference towards Beck and his decision.

Beck, half O’Reilly, half Benny Hill, came to prominence with Fox News in 2008 and immediately found an audience of disenchanted patriots who’s main beef seemed to be that Barack Obama had been elected as part of a global socialist conspiracy that aims to bring the nation to its knees by providing, amongst other things, affordable healthcare to the majority of US citizens for the first time in their lives.

Bringing the voice of patriots to the masses, Beck’s common sense commentary to all things American, Beck once accused President Obama of being a ‘racist’ telling his audience in 2009, "This president (Obama) I think has exposed himself over and over again as a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture.... I'm not saying he doesn't like white people, I'm saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist.”

Controversial? Perhaps. Insane? You be the judge, after all it is a free country, or is it? Glenn please give me guidance!

Known for his chalkboard teachings Beck’s star reached its peak in 2010 when he attracted over 100,000 of the faithful to the Washington mall for the “Restoring Honor” rally.  However as with all superstar prophets, Beck has had his fair share of detractors, which may or may not have had an impact resulting in a steep slump in his ratings.

I personally believe that Beck has taught his audience so much that they are now busy at 5:30 PM weekdays executing his teachings to a grateful nation.

At the end of his Wednesday show Beck tried to console the now sobbing masses saying, "We will find each other, I'm developing other content for Fox, I will continue to tell the story, and I'm going to be showing you other ways for us to connect. But I have other things to do.”

What this great man has planned is only known to him, god and fox executives.

Perhaps Glenn Beck could join forces with Charlie Sheen and Donald Trump in what would be the mother of all reality shows. That would indeed be illuminating and satirist would sleep soundly again.

Article originally appeared on The Simpleton (http://www.thesimpleton.com.au/).
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