How Very Female.

At last year’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival, when I was whoring myself publicly on a daily basis outside the Melbourne Town Hall by way of handing fliers to people for my show (people who just wanted to go home after a long days work), I had an experience with an Info Booth attendant that still makes my teeth grind and my nostrils flair.

When waiting patiently at the Info Booth to hand more fliers over and let the attendant know I was giving away two-for-one tickets (oh, such desperate times), I fell privy to a conversation between a young man working in the booth and a woman asking for recommendations on what to see.

“Well,” said he, “do you like female comedians?” I instantly cringed. The term ‘female comedian’ may not sound particularly derogatory, not on the surface, but I assure you, you won’t hear people ask, “do you like male comedians?” Not ever. Why was this term coined? Surely, upon walking on the stage, upon hearing our voices, upon seeing our face on our posters and fliers, it ought to be clear we are of the ‘lady-bit’ persuasion without the need for clarification. Why is it so important to segregate women as a different species of comic? We make people laugh, as do men, so therefore, are we not just simply, ‘comics’?

I would like to say that after this initial sentence one of two things happened, either a) the woman replied huffily, “yes, I do!” grabbed a flier for every single ‘lady-bits comedian’ for the festival and hurried away excitedly; or b) I left before hearing any more of what this young (I must reiterate, YOUNG) man had to say. Unfortunately, neither of those events occurred; instead, I stood, forever patient beside this woman and listened to the rest of the conversation.

“Not really” the woman replied. (It took all I had in me not to beat her upside the head with my fliers. ‘What? ALL of them?’ I wanted to ask. ‘Every single woman in the world that tells jokes? Every person with a clitoris lacks the ol’ funny bone?’)

“Me neither” said the man who was being paid by the festival (whose wages I‘m sure, in part, come from the 400+ comedians paying the $500 registration fee each year) to remain unbiased and recommend shows that fit budget and timeslot, not lady-bit to man-bit ratio.

His next sentence floored me completely. “If I WAS going to recommend any female-comic this festival it would be Sarah Millican,“ he said with authority that well outweighed his teen-something years, “because even though she is OBVIOUSLY a female and a comic, she doesn’t talk about being female and all the female stuff like other female comics do.”

This conversation went on for some time. Although it was clear the woman asking for recommendations wouldn’t know a great comic, female or otherwise, if it kicked her in the lady-bits (okay, I’ve said it too much, I know, VAGINA, didn‘t want to seem ‘controversial‘ and ‘feministy’ by being anatomically correct) all this man was doing was reinforcing the stereotype that women aren’t funny. He was validating her prejudices and encouraging her to continue with them.

I’m not suggesting he should have had to stand there and talk about women and only women at the festival, but surely his job required him to remain unbiased and not share his personal opinions about ‘gender comedy’ with patrons. If anything, he instead only perpetuated the myth that women in comedy are too ‘female’ in what they talk about. Instead of ensuring this woman left the conversation as ignorant and close-minded about women in comedy he could have taken the diplomatic approach of, “oh, well look, a lot of the women doing shows this year have wonderful reviews and sell-out seasons and are incredibly popular acts, like Sarah Millican, Celia Pacquola, Hannah Gadsby and Josie Long, just to name a few…”

On top of that, what a total knob. Not only was he unprofessional, he was totally and utterly wrong.

Just take a look at some of the fine popular comedians (who happen to be female) that are performing at this year’s festival: Denise Scott, Hannah Gadsby, George McEncroe, Cal Wilson, Geraldine Hickey, Fiona Scott-Norman, Melinda Buttle, Kim Hope, Kitty Flanagan, Fiona O’Loughlin.

Not to mention (unfortunately) lesser known names that are up and coming like: Laura Davis, Amelia Jane Hunter, Bonnie Davies, Shannon Woodford, Courtney Hocking, Catherine Hall, Anna Log, Cath Styles, Anne Edmonds, Jennifer Wong, Bec Hill, Karin Muiznieks, Melissa Crotty, Cloud Girls, Lori Bell, Victoria Healy, and Brenna Courtney Glazebrook, just to name a few.

And these are just the locals! What about our amazing array of international ladies taking the stage by storm: DeAnne Smith, Maria Bamford, Ava Vidal, Caroline Rhea, Francesca Martinez, Garfunkel & Oates, Marina Franklin, Nina Conti, Tig Notaro… To even suggest that there isn’t one woman in here that would make someone laugh is totally outlandish and absurd.

I’m not pretending I find all of the styles and topics of comedy that these women perform are my cup of tea, just like with any comedian, everyone has different tastes. But for this Info Booth penis-wrinkle and his female counterpart to honestly believe that because we are women and we talk of ‘female’ stuff that we are incapable of being funny.

What female stuff is it we’re talking about incessantly? Periods? Vaginas? Boobs? Endometriosis? Uteri? (What a great plural for uterus! How frequently is more than one uterus needing referenced?) Cervical Cancer? Ovaries?

Oh, wait. Or is it relationships? Children? Marriage? Being single? How men and women are different? Family? Because if that is what he is referring to, I didn’t realise those topics were strictly discussed by women. As far as I know, men talk about these topics as frequently as women; often it is spoken of in a different context, but spoken of frequently all the same.

Never mind the fact that we talk of politics, current events and issues in the world, world history, small observations, personal anecdotes. We sing songs, play instruments, perform sketches. Are they all ‘female’ stuff too?

Audiences laugh at what they find relatable, of what they can connect to. Both male and female comedians tap into what we, as humans find tragic and funny.

You want to know what one of the most annoying things about my writing all of this is? Those who are under the totally misguided idea that women are not funny may read this and be further infuriated by the feminist whining about women… again. What they won’t understand is that this is not an anti-men rant. There are plenty of hilarious men in comedy, locally and internationally. They work hard and they resonate with audiences because they are talented and funny. But the point is, for some ridiculous reason, people do not need to be constantly reminded that there are funny men out there. People do not need to be tentatively referred to only one or two male comics because they don’t talk about ‘male’ stuff as much as other male comedians.

I’m happy to see this young man who so clearly resonated with me for all the wrong reasons is not working at the Info Booth this year. I did make a complaint against his sexist and biased remarks and was told he was removed from the booth. The next day I saw him working for the ‘WOT Squad’, a group employed by The Age and festival to walk around recommending shows and helping people rather than being restricted to the booth. I feel like he was still being given the opportunity to spout his ill-informed and ignorant opinions, great work there festival.

Apart from this wretched gent, the Info Booth staff has always been great. Whether it’s Benne or Janet, Talia, Drew, Janine, Simone or many of the other staff members that work there this year or in previous years, the booth consists of men and women who are passionate about comedy in all its forms and dedicated to helping patrons find shows performed by well known comedians as well as pushing them to see new, unknown acts.

It’s just such a damn shame this young man left such a stain behind last year. Like a period stain.

There. I said it. What a woman!

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[Rossleigh]

Well, I've always liked Dame Edna!