Quidditch for Muggles

Yep; you read the title right. Since 2005, countless colleges across the US (and beyond) have adapted the Harry Potter-based sport into something played on a grass field with a kitchen appliance grasped between your thighs.

It’s real sport, folks, with real rules, real college teams, and real tournaments. Can you spell world cup for quidditch?

In case you missed the introduction from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, I’ll brief you on the rules. On a given team, there are three chasers, two beaters, a keeper, and a seeker. The chasers are arguably the equivalent to the center position in hockey – they carry the quaffle (usually a volleyball) and try to score points by shooting it through one of the three PVC-pipe-made hoops. The beaters take their bludgers (usually dodgeballs) and try to hit the chasers, forcing them to run back to their side of goalposts and start over. The keeper is – duh – the game’s goalie. They strive to block the quaffle from swooshing through the goalpost. Then, of course, the seeker – their job is to catch the snitch.

But if the book reads that the snitch is a little golden ball with tiny wings that flutters around as quick as lightning strikes, how can it be in a game for college muggles? In this case, the snitch refers to a third-party player that moves around dressed in gold. And my favorite part about the snitch runner is that they don’t actually HAVE to run. They can do whatever they want: ride a unicycle, roller skates, a bike, hell – why not bring an elephant onto the field? If the seeker can fetch the sock dangling from the snitch’s belt, the game is over. After the thirty points are added to the team with the snitch sock, whichever team has the most points wins.

Who said nerds weren’t athletic? This odd game is even more fun to play than it is to watch. The broom stick, along with all of the other quirks to the game, adds yet another thing to focus on in maintaining whatever position you are playing.

If you ever get a chance to watch or participate in the game, I’d say go for it. To hell with what people think, right? So if you ever hear your buddy say that they’re off to quidditch practice… yes; you heard that right.