The NFLPA Can Barely Feed Its Starving Children

Don’t we all feel bad for professional athletes? Really, isn’t this one occupation that has given us so much and asked for so little? And when they ask for more money for their labours, shouldn’t we indulge them? Don’t they deserve another property in The Bahamas, another mistress, another dog fighting compound?

This is the state of the NFL right now: the Player’s Association has called a lockout, in the face of threats of a pay cut. I mean, the idea of a pay cut to a pro athlete’s salary is despicable. Do you know how much the property tax is on a mansion? And let’s not forget that lots of these players have drug habits to tend to. Shit, they should get a pay increase.

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