"Pretty"

The social culture suggests that if you are not "pretty" then you will not be accepted. And for this young lady, she would rather find solace in her weight as a reason for why she is rejected than lose the weight and still be rejected. What a dismal thought and a troublesome rationale. There are two primary influences that come to mind. The influence of media/marketing and the glamorization of "beautiful people." And secondly, the influence of that glamorization on social peer groups and the dynamics of social acceptance. Much of this has been generated around the social meme of "pretty" and the sociological pressures to be "pretty." However, there is a distinction that needs to be made and one that every person should take into account; something that I would like to tell the girl who submitted the postsecret. "Pretty" is not necessarily attractive and attractive is not necessarily "pretty." And the idea of "attraction" in what each person considers attractive will indubitably be different from person to person. I think this is what David Hume was talking about when he said, ""Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them." Or, as the book Molly Bawn (1878) put it: "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

The connotation that fills the term "pretty" is a superficial one. An adjective to describe the surface. Analogous to the term "hot," which also connotes an adjective of superficiality. The only difference being what it is referring to. While "pretty" seems to usually refer to the face, while "hot" refers to the body. One of the primary reasons, many males, females, and other categories of gender, tend to consider others' body parts in and of themselves in assessment is propelled by the marketing industry. We are bombarded by advertisements with "good looking" people in them. Even if it's not a beauty-related product. If the advertisement was for newspapers or kitchenware or anything for that matter, there are fit people with symmetrical faces. Although within the past couple years, "normal" women were photographed for advertisements. Nonetheless, the cultural instillation of what typifies "beautiful" and "pretty" will take decades, if not more, to undo their damage. In other words, I don't think the self-esteem of young girls, and boys, who are insecure about their looks will improve by ad agencies changing their models. As one form of this indication consider the trends in cosmetic procedure from 2000 to 2009. 

One of the reasons, why self-esteem and conscientiousness about image is so important is because, for these young adolescents, and many adults as well, is because one's image become the basis for impressions in the assessment of whether one will tacitly be included or excluded and socially ridiculed by any number of social groups or "clicks" if you will. In the documentary, 'America the Beautiful', there is a teenage model who is complaining to her mother that she has to get this bra. And when her mother asks, "why" the daughter simply replies, "because it makes me feel good." But what does this mean? What does that "feel good" hinge upon? Wearing a particular bra may get her looks of admiration and from admiration comes popular appeal. Isn't the statement "it makes me feel good" an indirect way of saying because my peers will like me more, which will contribute to my feelings of happiness. An indirect statement regarding social acceptance. We have created a judgmental society where it is easy to criticize one's weight, style of dress, and appearance. And because this judgmental attitude is so prevalent, it chips at the self-esteem of our children.

On the other hand, the following clip is part of a documentary called the 'Art of Seduction,' which in part consists of interviewing "pretty" people.

While many of these individuals consider themselves as "pretty," at the same time, they provide modest responses to indicate that they are humble about their looks. The comments of the last two women strike me particularly, because they provide the perspective of backlash from the emphasis we place on looks. The constant intrusion to give a compliment on her looks becomes irritable conjoined with the implicit undertone of being objectified. Although in any first impression, looks and appearance is the first thing to be considered because there is nothing else to consider until we get to know the other person. But this is besides the point. The emphasis on being "pretty" in turn deteriorates the self-esteem of those who are actually considered "pretty" as it upholds a particular standard of looks. The emphasis on image and social acceptance has brought about the disorders that commonly pervade junior high schools, high schools, and colleges; Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa  are two of the more common eating disorders that have risen because of these socio-cultural impositions of "normal" and "acceptable."

"Pretty" should not be the defining adjective for any person. And it is a tragic farce that so much emphasis has been placed on the term and this standard of beauty. I love how Katie Makkai says that women no longer know how to wear joy and fulfillment (and of course, she's speaking in general relation to a modern phenomena, certainly not a statement of all women). The search for inner joy, fulfillment, and gratification with life has been substituted by the world of fleeting material pleasures and external gratifications. For all the daughters, being pretty does not provide substance. Find your passions in life, the petty mundane will always be there when you get older. Discover who you are, what you love as a source of fulfillment, and stick to your passions. Everything else will fall into place if you know who you are, where you're going, and the things in life that marinate your soul. The opinions and trends will always change.