Tis the Season for Frivolous Drama

For the hipster in your life. Photo courtesy: http://beardbaubles.tictail.com/December is the month when a lack of sense seems to be an epidemic. In an age where beard baubles become a way to celebrate Christmas, it becomes glaringly obvious that Christmas needs to take a deep breath in, put the shopping bag away, and calm the hell down.

At first, I did not think that the tacky, commercialised mayhem was so bad here in Australia. There is no snow in Melbourne like in Finland, where Santa Claus is from. There are no strong Advent calendar celebrations, like in Germany or Norway. There is no Swedish Saint Lucia Day nor even a Dutch Sinterklaas day. There is no American Black Friday or Toys for Tots. So what is Christmas in Australia really about?

Where I am from in Norway, the days are dark, gloomy, and cold, and Christmas becomes that One Good Thing people have going for them. It becomes the centrepiece for everyday life, and all activities revolve around family and eating plenty of almond and cinnamon-flavoured biscuits. Of course, a commercial presence is unavoidable, with some buying not just Christmas presents, but also Advent presents for their partners—yes, that’s every single day leading up to Christmas. The holidays are a spectacle there; a time to celebrate and be with family. Christmas traditions run deep, and it can often come across as suffocating to those who are not as into it as others.

I still hold to the fact that Christmas is not as confronting in Australia as it is in Europe or even the United States for that matter, but there has to be an end to pretending to be in a winter wonderland when it is actually sunny and 30 C. The beard baubles have to go. The candy cane decorations on car grills and antennas have to go. The icicle lights on houses and fences have to go. Tell me, have half of these people even seen an icicle in their lifetime?! It is time to switch the turkey in the oven with prawns on the BBQ. It is time to embrace the spirit of the season, smile a little wider, and help each other out.

The dramas that have ensued this month make involuntary eye rolling a sport. Sure, maybe Kitty Flanagan "ruined" Christmas by divulging to children on national television that Santa does not exist, causing a Twitter storm of backlash from parents. My issue lies elsewhere, though. Tell me: why are children under the age of eight awake at 9:30pm in the first place, let alone watching television? Let alone The Project?!

There also has to be an end to so much focus on every gift being perfect, or else “Christmas is ruined.” I work in retail selling shoes, and December is the month for craziness to ensue. In December, there are two types of customers: those buying for others, and those buying for themselves.

The first group—those who buy for others—have as their duty to complain about everything. Mostly, it is the price. I have never had so many complaints about the price of a high quality product until now. Look, maybe you need to budget your spending a little bit better in December. Maybe you need to buy a knock-off. Not my problem, Mister, and your wife probably deserves these anyway. Just shut up and be nice to her.

The second group, those who buy for themselves, act as if it is an hour at the spa, and I am to be their personal attendant. They take their time, trying on every colour in the style, not to mention similar styles. Then there is the sizing. “No, we don’t have half sizes,” I say all day, and “this style only comes in five colours, sorry.” They try on every style and colour, and after the longest sale of my life, they do at least walk away happy and appreciate the attention—if I have enough time to give it. My attitude quickly becomes less about customer service and more about getting them out the door, which makes me sad to realise.  We should be having small talk filled with Christmas spirit, but all we care about is getting home with our perfect present and putting our feet up. Naturally, it is my fault if that does not happen. In the past week at work, I have had someone yell in my ear, tug at my dress, interrupt me, and even follow me into the stockroom. It becomes harder to show my own Christmas spirit towards the end of a shift.

Christmas has the potential to become something good, and it is not too late in the month to start. Stop the tacky madness. Take those foam reindeer antlers off your head and start recycling more. To finish, when you buy Christmas baubles for your loved one, donate the amount you spent on them to a charity. If you buy a $200 pillow for your boyfriend’s couch, consider this: roughly three million Australians—including children—live below the poverty line. They could use a pillow and a blanket, too. It really cannot be so hard in a country that is so prosperous.

The gift you are giving to someone you love does not have to be perfect. If they truly love you, Christmas will still be a wonderful day, because after all, it is all about spending time with loved ones. If we all just gave a little of the kindness we show to those we love to complete strangers as well, maybe the Christmas spirit is what Australia will be known for.