How to Celebrate Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving: It is a peculiar little American holiday. Because of its deep and twisted history, its meaning can be confusing even for Americans. If foreign nationals have any chance of understanding the holiday in its past and current form, it is time to turn off the TV with the perfect smiling family and listen up for a quick run-through.

This is how to do Thanksgiving:

1)      Get brainwashed. When I was in elementary school in the early 1990’s, our teachers taught us that Thanksgiving was commemorative of the first feast shared between early settlers and Native Americans circa 1620, to celebrate and thank God that they had survived the journey at sea. We made little bonnets and talked about the foods they ate. We learned that it was a symbol of friendship and peace between the invaders—I mean settlers—and the Natives, often held at the end of droughts. Over the years, it continued to be a celebration of harvest and gratitude. Everyone's favourite president, Abraham Lincoln, was the one who made the holiday official.

2)      Gather people you put up with because you love them. Nowadays, Thanksgiving is more about family and friends. Traditionally, families gather and share a big gigantic meal. The cooking often starts the day before, and includes several side dishes. The food is hearty and traditional, including corn, cranberries, turkey, bread, squash, and dark green vegetables. Desserts have pecans and pumpkin in them. More common for people who live far away from home is to share the meal with close friends. Add copious amounts of wine and political debate. Viola! Dinner is served.

3)      Watch and/or play football. Americans love their (American rules) football like Aussies love footy. There is always at least one game on, just in order to break the boredom of trying to relate to your great aunt from Toledo. For the more active families out there, play catch or touch football instead of taking a nap. This is an ideal opportunity for men to sit back and relax while the women clean up after the meal. The lesser enthusiastic sports fans can play cards or board games with their cousins.

4)      Go shopping. Then there is “Black Friday,” the day after Thanksgiving, which officially commemorates the start of the holiday shopping season. On Thanksgiving day, newspapers are stuffed full of advertisements, stating what will be on sale the following day and when they open. Get ready to wake up at 4am in order to stand in line at the store of your choice, hoping to get the item(s) you want on sale. Traffic is chaotic and consumers elbow their way through lines. It is the American version of Boxing Day.

Congratulations! You are well on your way to becoming American, or at least being able to know what exactly this weird little holiday is all about.