Top
Featured Posts

WHY WE SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT THE GREECE DEBT CRISIS 


AMERICAN POLITICS: WHO'S RUNNING THE ASYLUM?



THE POWER AND THE PASSION


Worst Baby Names in the World


Celebrity Chefs


DARWIN’S THEORY OF YARD DUTY


THE ART OF THE COMPLAINT LETTER

CONTINUED EXISTENCE OF WORLD BAFFLES BELIEVERS


TEN EMERGENCY JOKES NO COMEDY WRITER SHOULD EVER BE WITHOUT


FROM TROTTER TO TWITTER: A BRIEF HISTORY OF HUMAN (MIS) COMMUNICATION


SEARCH

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

« Psych! | Main | Justin Bieber's Mom is Single and Available, Folks »
Monday
Feb252013

Oscars 2013 - The Simpleton Live Blog

DateMonday, February 25, 2013 at 12:29PM

4:00 PM - Three and a half hours later and that's pretty much it. I think Seth did a good job. He is a song and dance man after all! Hope this has been helpful. Good afternoon.

3:57 PM - Ben Affleck seems to have been robbed by not being nominated for Best Director.

3:54 PM - What was all that about? Anyway the Oscar for Best Picture goes to...Argo!

 

3:52 - Jack Nicholson to present Oscar for Best Picture! Jack's doing Jack and the crowd love it it. Michelle Obama joining via sattelite live from the White House!

 

3:48 PM - And the Oscar goes to...Daniel Day-Lewis. Am I a genius? Maybe! Anyway this is the first time an actor has won three Oscars for best Actor. He's doing a stand-up routine! Pretty good too! He has a sense of humour. Ping Ralph Feinnes.

3:44 PM - That's quite a dress shares wearing even if I say so myself. I am an authority after all. Here's Meryl Streep to award the Oscar to Daniel Day-Lewis for Best Actor. Bold I know but I stand by it!

3:40 PM - Yeah I know by embedding a Huff Post tweet I'm giving them a shout out. That's the way I roll! Here's the French guy that one Best Actor last year to award the Oscar for Best Actress and the winner is... Jenniger Lawrence or at least that's what I think he said!

 

 

3:33 PM - Michael Douglas and Jane Fonda. Hard to tell the two apart these days. Anyway the Oscar for the Best Director goes to...Ang Lee for the Life of Pi! His second Oscar win.

 

3:27 PM - Long overdue recognition for a bit of a genius.

3:26 PM - Writing Best Original Screenplay the Oscar goes to...Quentin Tarantino for Djang Unchained!

3:22 PM - Dustin Hoffman and Charlize Theron to present the Oscar for Writing Best Adapted Screenplay. The Winner is...Chris Terrio for Argo. Has Lincoln won an Oscar tonight?

3:20 PM - Approaching the three hour mark.

 

3:11 PM - Best Original Song..not every song is preformed tonight. Poor form academy. The Oscar goes to...Adele Adkins and Paul Epworth for Skyfall. No surprise. Is there anything Adele doesn't win?

 

3:07 PM - Best Musical Score as presented by Richard Gere, Queen Latifa, Catherine Zeta Jones and Renee Zelwegger. Three pretty women...I didn't mean it like that!!! The Oscar goes to...Mychael Danna  for the Life of Pi.

 

 

 

3:03 PM - She is a dead ringer! 

 

3:00 PM - It's a night for Divas - Barbara Streisand. 

 

2:57 PM - George Clooney has a beard and he's here to present in Memoriam. Always moving. 

2:50 PM - Great to see Pennebaker get an Oscar a great documentarian!!

 

  

 

2:47 PM - Kristen Stewart looks stoned and here is the best Oscar for Production Design...the winner is Lincoln, Rick Carter (Production Design); Jim Erickson (Set Decoration).

 

2:43 PM -  I don't like the way Nicole Kidman is staring at me!!!

 

 

 

2:38 PM - Adele does a great job of the most Bond sounding theme song in years.

 

 

2:34 PM - Here's Adele with Skyfall.

2:32 PM - Seth seems to be winning the crowd over but here's Sandra Bullock for Film Editing and the Oscar goes to...William Goldenberg for Argo.

2:29 PM -  Time for a break. 

 

 

2:20 PM - Best Supporting Actress and the winner is...Anne Hathaway. Cue the Jaws music.

2:18 PM - A funny Von Trapp joke.

 

 

2:17 PM - The analysis begins!

2:13 PM - Best Sound Editing  the Oscar goes to Zero Dark Thirty, Paul N.J. Ottosson and Skyfall, Per Hallberg and Karen Baker Landers. The first time an Oscar has been tied? What is this the Brownlow?

2:12 - Best Sound Mixing the Oscar goes to Les Miserable, Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson and Simon Hayes.

2:11 PM - Wahlberg and Ted. Live computer animation is always risky. Wahlberg looks very lifelike.

 

 

 

  

2:02 PM - Here he is!!! He get's one audible line and it was shite!

2:00 PM - Is this where we see Russel sing? So far it's only Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway sigh!

 

  

1:53 PM -  Please tell me we're going to get to see Russel Crowe sing! Please! Meanwhile Catherine Zeta Jones is setting fine to the auditorium. 

1:52 PM - Travolta is on stage and his hair seems to have regenerated too. 

 

1:50 PM - Best Foregin Language Film and the Oscar goes to...Armour.

1:48 PM - The sime marks on the left are in Australian Eastern Daylight Savings Time for those confused.

1:45 PM - Award winners literally being dragged off stage now for going over time. Hope they do that for best actress.

1:42 PM - Affleck gas a snipe at Seth before presenting the Oscar for Best Documentary Feature to Searching for Sugarman, Malik Bendjelloul and Simon Chinn.

 

1:40 PM - Seth's Abraham Lincoln joke goes down bad. This room is full of stiffs!

1:37 PM - Here's Liam Neeson and here is his finest work.

1:35 PM - Best Documentary Short  and the Oscar oges to Inocente, Sean Fine and Andrea Nix Fine.

1:32 - Live Action Short Film and the Oscar goes to Curfew, Shawn Christiassen. Everyone is once again terrified of the Jaws music.

1:30 PM - Yeah the Jaws music is not going down well. 

 

 

1:21 PM - Hallie Berry looking amazing as always with a tribute to 50 years of Bond. The orchestra is sounding lame in that Hollywood ceremony type of way. Let's see if Shirley Bassey can save them...yes she can!!

1:20 PM - Make-UP and the Oscar goes to Lisa Westcott and Julie Dartnell for Les Miserable. The first Oscar for this film for the evening,

1:18 PM - Costume Design and the Oscar goes to Jacqueline Durran for Anna Karrenina.

 

 

1:12 PM - The Jaws music was a mistake. Awkward!

 

 

1:10 PM - Achievement in Visual Effects and the Oscar goes to Life of Pi 

 

1:07 PM -Acheivement in Cinemaphotography  and the winner is Claudio Miranda for the Life of Pi. He has long hair.

1:05 PM -  Clooney's not happy. 

1:01 PM - That's right. There are nine best film nominees and each one get's its own trailer. It's going to be a long show.

1:00 pm - Best Animated Feature Film  and the Oscar goes to Brave. Ditto.

 

 

12:58 PM - Best Animated Short film and the Oscar goes to Paper Man. Haven't heard of it haven't seen it. Doesn't mean it's not good. 

 

12:50 PM -Best Actor in a Supporting Role - And the winner is... Christoph Waltz. His second Academy Award for his second appearance in a Tarantino film. Somewhat of a surprise this Oscar usually goes to the eldest actor. Not this time.

 

12:46 PM - Billy Crystal would be proud of Seth.

12:38 PM - Turns out Seth is a song and dance man and Charlize Theron is endlessly talented.

12:30 PM - Another year and it's Oscar time. The Simpleton along with a billion other people is tuned in to watched this over blown and over hyped stuffy version of the Golden Globes. Seth Macfarlane has the gig let's see how he goes.

So far so good, Seth seems relaxed. He's made one edgy Rhianna and Chris Brown joke and a funny Mel Gibson crack. Mel really is easy fodder for every awards host these days. 

.  

AuthorDaniel James | CommentPost a Comment |
tagged , , , , in

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
All HTML will be escaped. Hyperlinks will be created for URLs automatically.

Notify me of follow-up comments via email.