The Ideal Justice League

If you follow the Simpleton’s Entertainment page, you know that I recently published an article about Aquaman and his relationship with the Justice League of America (JLA). Shortly after I posted the write-up, though, I realized I had more to say about the team. This modern raid of Superhero’s flying, swinging, or launching themselves through the big screen is about fan opinion, right? So let me give some fan opinion in what I want to see in an upcoming JLA film.

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Internet or Television Icon?

The ‘entertainment’ category on this site is really for rumors and stories going on in that world with celebrities, movies, etc. It’s for reviewing TV shows and such. So it may come as a shock that I bring up something as “unprofessional” as YouTube videos.

The way the industry is going though, with videos and series on that site getting as many or more views than an actual series on TV, it’s been a big shift. As Christine Lakin claims in the Internet Icon Season Two Finale, “in a world where people can choose to watch whatever they want to watch at anytime they want to watch it for as long as they want to watch it, you know, I think the key is really in these content creator’s hands.

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Aquaman... Yay or Nay?

Warner Bros released that there is a strong possibility that a Justice League of America (JLA) movie will be released in 2015. If that’s the case, it’d be as good of guess as any to assume it will be an origins episode, meaning Aquaman will be among the founding seven members. If you are a superhero nerd, you know that Aquaman is kind of the butt of a lot of DC-centered superhero jokes. And if you aren’t a superhero nerd, let me explain why.

Aquaman has a ton of powers – it’s a really great concept for a superhero, really. He has super-strength, can swim faster than the average, enhanced senses, can communicate with marine life, and the obvious: he can breathe underwater. The problem is that… he can only breathe underwater. Think of land as Aquaman’s kryptonite. He can function for a little bit, but he’s strongest under the surface of the water. That’s why it’s funny to nerds. He was an original member to the JLA, yet when it comes to the team, he’s utterly useless. 

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Portlandia

Portlandia, the sketch-comedy series on IFC and Netflix, takes a poke at life like no one has before. Trust me; you haven’t seen a show like it.

Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein star as a multitude of characters, recurring and not, in fast-pace sketches snapshotting the quirkiness of Portland, Oregon as perfect as can be. From long-haired librarians to punk bicyclists, light bulb manufacturers, or just a variety of odd couples, Armisen and Brownstein bottle the funk of Portland in its pristine essence. “Keep Portland Weird!” is a common expression used in the town, and the TV show is no exception.

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'Episodes' of Laughter

Kiss Joey Tribbiani good-bye as Matt LeBlanc helms Showtime’s Episodes as a diluted version of himself. From his over-exaggerated, humorous portrayal of Joey to his now-chill, more realistic (fame-crazed, reckless, and egotistical, but more realistic nonetheless) character, Matt LeBlanc keeps the audience (and even the supporting characters) on their toes.

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Psych!

If you are a true Psych-O, you know that “Psych” will return tonight with a continuation of a perfect blend of humor and tension by characters whose personalities have been developed and mastered since the first episode, when an immature Shawn Spencer (James Roday) lures the always-responsible Gus (Dulé Hill) into a “one-time” detective gig.

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Oscars 2013 - The Simpleton Live Blog

12:30 PM - Another year and it's Oscar time. The Simpleton along with a billion other people is tuned in to watched this over blown and over hyped stuffy version of the Golden Globes. Seth Macfarlane has the gig let's see how he goes.

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Justin Bieber's Mom is Single and Available, Folks

Because I like staring at a good traffic accident as much as the next person, and because the continued and boundless horror and depravity that is American culture in the "news" is the biggest traffic accident I've ever seen, I couldn't help but click on the CNN headline "Justin Bieber (and his mom) have big night at the American Music Awards". 

Um... 

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Worst Baby Names in the World

Being a celebrity involves a duty. It involves a lot of canape-eating and teeth-whitening as well, but it also includes an onus of being somewhat a role-model.

Celebrities know that people will try to emulate them because their life seems so much more rich and glamorous compared to theirs. If your famous, chances are you don’t even know what brands of washing powder are available in supermarkets anymore. You have a person solely employed to brighten your whites, and that’s something the rest of us would like a slice of please.

This is then a call out then to celebrities to stop giving your kids weird names that they have to wear for the rest of their now slightly-unfortunate lives because it triggers off normal people naming their kids after intangible words as well.

Sure having a kid called “pineapple” is cute when they’re 5 days old. Having a grandpa named that though takes the sweetness off somewhat.

Let’s take a look at some celebrity doozies

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Celebrity Chefs

The rise and rise of celebrity chef’s is a cultural phenomena that is only rivalled by get fit, lose weight, get a makeover and cheer the fuck up television. On one channel you have Nigella Lawson espousing. ‘only can you get bring out the full sumptuous potential of duck fat by adding three or four good dollops of perky luscious whipped cream followed by a full cup of glistening salt. Use the enriched duck fat and massage it thoroughly into the skin of the swine but only after it has been deep fried for a good 45 minutes”. Flick the channel and you get some buffed fitness nut chastising some demoralised  and overweight westerner for having too much skim milk in their herbal tea!

It is the Celebrity Chef’s that are the modern day rockstars with egos to match! They wine and dine for and with Prime Ministers, Presidents and royalty, have whole sections of book stores dedicated to their recipes, have live shows, entire television channels programmed to highlight their culinary mastery. They also invariably have chains of overpriced restaurants scattered across the globe with one always opening up in Dubai next week.

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